If there is one thing that is a constant about family medicine it is the fact that every day is different. Every day can bring a mix of preventive care, illness care, a variety of ages and a variety of afflictions but one thing it always brings are people with stories to tell and problems to discuss. If you are looking for a life that is challenging, fulfilling and purposeful, then you have found yourself a new home.

Loving people of all ages is an essential for the practice of family medicine. The highlight of the day might be examining a newborn or checking the blood pressure of a ninety-something. Watching the generations of families come into your office is a joy because you see the smile of the baby reflected in the smile of the grandparent. You see the love of parent for their children and you see the growth in the child seeking a life that will be more and more independent of the parents.

I remember one family that spanned four generations and I remember what they helped me see as their physician. First, of course, was the love that was passed from generation to generation even when they did not see eye-to-eye. So the stories on any particular day were told more to be heard than to be commented upon. What a great lesson for living in general. Sometimes people just want to get their story heard, their side told without judgment, their feelings understood with compassion and their ability to just talk, not interrupted. How many times do we think we need to comment, to judge, to give an opinion when all that is called for is a listening ear? Period. I think of that family often when I am telling myself to keep my mouth shut and just sit and care.

There is a language between generations that this family also taught me. It was a lesson in tolerance and forgiving. When a member of the family would do something outside of the understanding of other family members, they would usually hear about it. But then, they could continue down that road, try another way of doing things or discuss their decision with other members of the family. In other words, they were given advice but allowed to make their own mistakes. How much wear and tear on relationships might be avoided with that kind of approach? We all need to make our own mistakes and we need to have people around that are well aware that we are making a mistake, point it out to us and then move on. The support you feel even when your family disagrees with what you are doing is what counts in the long run. Trusting enough to let you go ahead but being there when things don't turn out too well. It is what family is about. Isn't it also a part of the patient-physician relationship?

Families go through many things together. Things like births and deaths, illness and surgery, good times and challenging times. But, over the years, their tends to be some sort of balance to it all and so it is with the patient and the physician. We work together when things are difficult, when a loved one dies, when faced with cancer, when depression clouds the days. And then we get to see together the hope that a new baby brings, that a wedding celebration shows us and during the times when life is actually a bit more serene. Maybe the serene part never lasts long but it is appreciated while it lasts and it brings the balance back for just a little while. How many times did we see a death in the family followed by a birth? How often did we see major life changes followed by better communication? How often were we aware that there is in this life a force greater than our own that helps us through?

Going into a patient care room and examining the three-year-old member of that family (that would rather play than be examined) teaches a lot about the patient-physician relationship. It tells us that sometimes you communicate well and sometimes you don't. It tells us that trust has be to a part of the relationship for it to work and that trust is a two-way street. It reminds us that having patience with every patient is a good thing and that a reflex hammer can look threatening to a patient and so can an MRI. That the way we talk can help a situation or hinder a situation and that caring and compassion never go out of style. And one more thing this family taught me is that a good sense of humor is an essential tool in our little black bags.